By Aziza Mohamed
At Bright Future High School, there was one student who never studied, never took notes, and still always scored 99%. His name? Brian Otieno — a.k.a. The Walking Google.
This boy could solve a math problem while brushing his teeth and giving life advice to his grandmother. Rumor had it that he once fixed the school Wi-Fi just by staring at the router.
“Brian is not a student,” his teacher once said, “he’s a small university in human form.”
But Brian had one weakness: he overthought everything. While others answered simple questions, Brian wanted to explore the meaning of life inside a cabbage leaf.
The Day of the Exam
The principal, Mr. Munga, walked into the classroom with a huge smile.
“Students,” he said, “today’s final exam is super easy. Everyone must pass. If you score more than 15 out of 30… we’ll have a pizza party tomorrow!”
The class cheered.
Except Brian, who narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
“Too easy?” he whispered. “Sounds like a trap from the government.”
Question 1: What is 5 + 5?
Brian smirked.
“Ah. A trick. Why would they ask something so basic?”
He wrote:
Answer: “Depends on the time zone, temperature, and emotional trauma of both fives. Could be 10, but possibly 11 if they hug.”
Question 2: What color is the sky?
Brian whispered, “Aha! They want me to say ‘blue’. But the universe is not that simple!”
He scribbled:
Answer: “Color is an illusion. The sky reflects the sorrows of the ocean and sometimes the tears of failed students.”
Question 3: What sound does a cat make?
This should’ve been easy. But no. Not for Brian.
He wrote:
Answer: “Depends on the cat’s personality. Some meow, some purr, some judge your life silently while knocking your phone off the table.”
Fast forward to Results Day…
Brian was smiling confidently, ready to collect his pizza invitation card. But when the teacher called out the marks…
“Brian Otieno… 1 out of 30.”
SILENCE.
Even the classroom clock stopped ticking for 3 seconds.
“Maybe she meant 21?” someone whispered.
The teacher held up his paper and read out loud:
*‘The sky reflects the sorrows of the ocean…’? Brian, this was not a poetry contest, it was an exam!
The Aftermath
Brian’s classmates celebrated with slices of hot pepperoni pizza, laughing and taking selfies. Brian, meanwhile, sat in a corner, holding a single slice of dry ugali his aunt packed.
“Next time,” he muttered, “I will think… less.”
Then suddenly—a twist!
The school invited a university professor to review all the students’ papers. When he read Brian’s exam, he paused.
“This student is either a genius… or completely mad,” he said.
“But… this kind of thinking? It’s rare.”
Brian was offered a scholarship to study philosophy. 🧠
One year later…
Brian published a bestselling book titled “The Emotional Math of Lonely Numbers.”
It sold 1,000 copies in Germany, 3 in Kenya, and 1 to his aunt (who used it to chase rats from the kitchen).
Moral of the story:
Sometimes, it’s okay to think deeply…
But if the question is “What is 5 + 5?” — just write 10. 😄
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